I had something else in the works for this week, then I realized that this week ends with the Fourth of July. It actually occurred to me as I was driving to work yesterday as I crossed the two bridges coming into Ocean City, taking in the view I’ve grown to love so much. I looked out over the Assawoman Bay and I realized that the season was about to kick into overdrive. I knew because of the overwhelming plethora of small watercraft darting willy nilly about, sometimes barely missing each other and many barely afloat from being overloaded with good old fashioned American obesity. Out in full force was the fleet of boats in our waters that I like to refer to as the Pennsylvania Navy, the Jersey Armada, or the Flotilla of Foolery. And I know that this is nothing compared to what that same body of water is going to look like Saturday night as the fireworks are going off.
Independence Day, the holiday when we collectively, as a nation, indulge in patriotism even if only for a day or two. It’s one of the few holidays that I actually welcome with open arms. There are no religious undertones to it, or silly, made up meanings. It’s simply a day to say ‘happy birthday’ to the wonderful country that we live in. One of the few countries in the world that would allow me to write my weekly rants and observations for public view without fear of persecution. It’s the one day of the year when folks can dress from head to toe in red, white, and blue with absolutely no sense of fashion. It’s the day when the laughing stock of a network – a.k.a ESPN – airs the all-too-American ritual of seeing how many hot dogs a stage full of people can force down in a set amount of time. Other countries have people starving to death daily, and we unabashedly celebrate our country’s birthday by having a nationally televised competition of one of the seven deadly sins. I can’t imagine why some other countries don’t much like us.
So, in true fashion, I started hyper-analyzing the holiday, its meaning, and its rituals. This prompted me to think about how far we’ve come as a nation in our 200-plus years. Which of course led me on a detour to the boulevard of ironies that is never ending because the only way to travel this path is one step forward, two steps back.
Now before I open this Pandora’s box, let me say in advance that I don’t necessarily have an opinion politically or otherwise about the examples I’m about to site. I’m simply a guy who really digs ironies and will perpetually find humor in them. Don’t read any more into what you are about to read than that. Now with that disclaimer in place, I’ll proceed with explaining how we’ve become a nation of overly sensitive hypocrites. If I had a time machine, one of my stops would be to go back and find the first person who uttered the phrase “political correctness” and bludgeon them ritualistically.
Everywhere we look on a daily basis we see glaring examples of our own hypocrisies and ironies, only most of us don’t notice them like I do. While we were once a proud nation of deep, free thinkers we have become nothing more than sheep herded by mainstream media’s over-sensationalization of negativity. News outlets are now Gepetto and we as Americans are nothing more than a massive Army of Pinocchios. While we were once the baddest kid on the block, we now have the thinnest skin. Suddenly things we’ve been looking at right in front of our noses for centuries become offensive if the right person on TV says something derogatory about them.
I can’t reiterate enough that I have no agenda here, I’m not justifying anything, and I have no real opinions either way on these things, I’m simply pointing them out and hopefully adding humor to them. We need look no further than recent news stories to find more examples than I have room to site in one article.
We laud Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner for his/her bravery and courage, yet we continuously crap on the men and women in our military who are actively (and bravely might I add) fighting to protect our rights that we so often take for granted. Jenner is a hero for being the only person to grace both a Wheaties box and the cover of Vanity Fair, yet our returning soldiers are treated like pariah. That’s the new America.
We open our borders like the front doors of a Wal Mart at 6:00 a.m. on black Friday, but our veterans can’t get their benefits. That’s the new America.
Reruns of the Dukes of Hazzard have been pulled from television because the roof of their vehicle features an image of a silly, centuries old symbol that is suddenly offensive while I walk down the boardwalk on a Sunday afternoon with my children and have to look at young men with their pants hanging down below their asses. That’s the new America.
A wreath hanging on my front door in December is offensive to some, but you can still turn on the radio in the middle of the day and listen to song lyrics referring to our young women as “bitches” and “hoes”. How many times do you think a young man would get away with referring to one of my daughters that way before he was pulled aside for a “lesson”? That’s the new America.
We took massive strides this past week when the Supreme Court legalized same sex marriage nationwide. Yet there are politicians pissed off everywhere in the name of “religion”. Way to keep up with that separation of church and state. That’s the new America.
We once enjoyed the poetry of Robert Frost, the writings of Mark Twain, and the preachings of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Now we’re force fed the mindless babblings of an onion head like Kanye West. That’s the new America.
If I’m coming off as a little pissed off, it’s because I am. I’m raising 4 (soon to be 5) children in this new America, and it scares the hell out of me. I’m raising them in a home where hatred does not exist. Hatred in this country has become like playing a never ending game of Whack A Mole. Every time we hammer it down in one spot, it pops up in another. I personally don’t have the capacity for hatred, though I am capable of loathing. And if I happen to loathe you, make no mistake, it’s not because of your race, your ethnicity, your religion, your political affiliation, your sexual orientation, your physical appearance, or even what football team you root for. If I loathe you, it’s because you’re an asshole.
Let’s collectively as a nation hit the reset button. Let’s unify and celebrate what we are, not what we once were. The human species has been making mistakes and doing dumb shit since the cavemen. The beauty of being homosapien is our innate ability to learn from our mistakes and move on. I have yet to meet a person who is 250 years old.
Happy Independence day everyone. Happy Birthday America, I’m proud to call you home.
Thanks for playing along. Enjoy a safe and happy holiday weekend.
Until next week, Syd Nichols.
sydnichols@yahoo.com
