It’s that time of year again, holiday season at the beach. I don’t know about you, but nothing says Christmas to me like a 30-foot tall super-creepy illuminated Santa Clause face peering ominously over the intimidating structure housing the court house, police station, and holding cells. No one has ever had a good experience in this building, and now it’s capped off for the next several weeks with this spooky little holiday accessory.
The adornment, to the untrained eye, appears more like “Satan Clause” than Santa Clause. But, hey, that’s just one man’s opinion. It’s been there for years, so apparently the rest of the town seems to love it. I’m just glad it wasn’t there when I was a child or I’d have been scarred for life. Fortunately, I live on the West side now so I can just wait until after the New Year to bring the kids into town. Please feel free to comment at the end of this column. I’d love to hear other peoples’ thoughts on this decoration. It’s entirely possible that I’m the only person who’s had nightmares as a result of it. I do look at the world from a different perspective than most.
I’m taking a break this week, and giving YOU a break from hearing me reminisce fondly about that infamous first summer. I mean, what kind of person would I be if I didn’t write a cushy piece about the holidays this time of year? There are an abundance of stories yet to be told about that first summer though, so I’ll come back to that later. This week will be all about Syd’s thoughts on the holiday season, so Merry Humbug. And yes, I did just refer to myself, or at least some variation of myself in the “third person.” So I’ve now officially made my own list of people to hate. Cynical as I may seem though, please read through to the end. I may just surprise you.
In the three and a half minutes of research I put in for this piece (which is a full three minutes longer than I’ve ever invested before), I looked up a calendar of various holidays from around the world that fall this time of year, and it was quite a list. I’m going to discuss only some of them here. It’s simply because there are too many, some I don’t understand, and most of them I can’t spell. So I’ll stick with what I know. Contrary to popular belief I am somewhat sympathetic to what offends others. For example, my wife finds the smell of sauerkraut cooking offensive, so I no longer cook it in the house. Much as I love it, I have a vested interest in keeping this woman happy. I do plan on waking up next to her every morning for the rest of my life.
I believe that society, on the whole, has gotten overly sensitive as to what is actually offensive. Particularly when it comes to symbols regarding religion, and the various holidays that we may not believe in or subscribe to. I’m not exactly what one would refer to as a huge proponent of organized religion. I do however celebrate Christmas. So if you happen to see me in the next few weeks, and I wish you a Merry Christmas and you don’t celebrate it, please don’t react to me as if I just made a “your momma” joke. Take it for what it is—just another human being wishing you happiness at a festive time of year.
Similarly, if the lights on the front of my house, or the tree you can see through the window offend you, then don’t look at them. I didn’t put them up to hurt anyone. It seems we don the cloak of religious affront only when it suits us where the holidays are concerned. Most of the symbols and rituals have become so grossly over commercialized, and have strayed so far from the true meaning of the holidays that it’s almost laughable anyway. So perhaps, we as humans just need to grow a thicker skin. We tend to pick and choose which of the celebratory days we find offensive as it is convenient for us.
I’ll give a few examples. Let’s start with some of the holidays that everyone seems to subscribe to without offense. Thanksgiving comes to mind. This is my personal favorite of all the holidays because it is based around my three favorite things. My list of what I like to call the three F’s. They are food, family, and football. Now that I think of it, my favorite activity starts with the letter F as well. Oh, get your mind out of the gutter! I was talking about farting. Anyway, we all take off work for it, and we all feast, yet I can say with conviction that I’ve never actually met a Pilgrim. And I don’t hear anyone jumping to the defense of turkeys in late November.
Another holiday that almost everyone seems to enjoy and use as an excuse to party is Saint Patrick’s Day. We self-destruct, though only a nominal percentage of Americans actually have an ounce of thinned-out Irish blood coursing through our veins. I am not one of them. Nobody seems to be insulted by this one because it suits our needs, and gives us an excuse to celebrate. And don’t tell me it’s not a religious holiday because it has the word SAINT in the name! Yet once a year, we all wear green and indulge until our complexion matches our attire.
Valentine’s Day, or should I say SAINT Valentine’s Day, is another one. I don’t know how it started, or what it means, I just know that now it’s become synonymous with candy in heart-shaped boxes, overpriced roses which will be dead in a few days, Hallmark cards with romantic crap written in them, jewelry, and a mandatory dinner for two that we can’t afford at that time of year. And yet, no one seems offended.
Then there’s Mardi Gras. I don’t even know what the hell this one is, but Americans seem to go nuts over it. Hundreds of thousands of us even plan our vacations around it. We indulge in the annual migration South to the land of drinking legally in the streets, and exposing our breasts to strangers for nothing more than a 50 cent string of plastic beads. Bizarre rituals certainly, yet seemingly accepted by most. And yes, another religious based holiday.
There are other holidays that are not centered around religion, but ones that we as Americans have hitched our wagons to for the sole purpose of partying. Cinco de Mayo for example has now become another excuse for us to get crazy, and no one seems to mind. Ground Hog Day is just an excuse for a big woods party in Western PA. Aren’t we just waiting for PETA to tell us that the expectation of a symbolic creature to pop out once a year to look for his shadow is cruel and unusual?
Though not a “party holiday” Arbor Day, a celebration of foliage, could be an issue. If I wish you a happy Arbor Day, (and I will), should I be concerned that I may insult someone who doesn’t have any trees on their property? In fact, isn’t Arbor Day our guilt cleansing reparation holiday from Christmas? We spend the weeks before Christmas going around cutting down trees to adorn our festively decorated houses only to drag their browning, needle dropping limp lifeless bodies out to the curb on or about January 5th for the nice folks from bulk pick up to take away. Then, we rid ourselves of the guilt from this outlandish ritual by planting trees on Arbor Day.
Speaking of Christmas—the true meaning seems to have gotten lost in translation via the juggernaut of marketing, commercialization, and iconic symbols which seemingly have nothing to do with the holiday itself. I’m reasonably certain that there were no inverted, cone shaped evergreen trees in or around Bethlehem on December 25th, 0000. And yet, the Christmas tree has become the foremost symbol of Christmas. And I’m at a total loss at what point the birth of the Son of God went hand in hand with a flying deer that has an illuminated scarlet sinus cavity. But hey, why not, it’s fun and we’ve grown to accept it.
I know I’ve made light of a lot of things here but it was simply to convey a message in my own not so subtle way. The message is that it’s just plain silly to allow the beliefs, rituals, practices, and celebrations of others to offend you simply because you have different views. Some of the underlying themes to this time of year are peace, harmony, love, and acceptance. So everyone just lighten up and embrace one another.
I’ll wrap this up by giving you a rarely seen glimpse into the other side of Syd. Even after this lengthy rant, truth be told, I LOVE this time of year. The absolute fondest memories from my childhood, and I have nothing but fond memories from my childhood of Christmas. Everything about these memories makes me happy.
I remember the weeks before setting up the train set and all the miniature houses with my Dad. I remember the annual ritual of rolling, cutting, and baking sugar cookies with my Mom while watching Rudolph on a 12 inch black and white screen in our kitchen. Going out into the woods to find the perfect tree, then bringing it home and decorating it with my brother and sister. I was blessed and fortunate enough to have had a truly Rockwellian (for you sis) upbringing, especially around the holidays. I’m ashamed to admit that I had lost sight of that, and all that is truly important for awhile. But now that I have small children again, I’ve regained my focus. If I can provide my kids with just a small portion of the love, happiness, and wonderful Christmas memories that I have been blessed with, then I’ll consider it a success. I’ll go to great lengths to try to convey and instill in them the true meaning of the holidays without taking the fun out of it. And hopefully one day they will be creating memories with their own children and remembering these with fondness.
My family and I would like to wish each and every one of you a safe, happy, healthy, and joyous holiday season.
God Bless,
Syd Nichols
