Ocean City’s dating pool is filled with stagnant, murky, dirty water. No one wants to dive in. The same bachelors float around in the pool endlessly. Most of the men have been in the dating pool for far too long – they should have been snatched up and married years ago – now, they’re just past their prime and playing games with undeserving females.

Some of the men around here know how to play the game well. They act interested, appear to be logical, make a woman swoon, and then get inside of her head and make her question her own logic as they show signs of too much drinking, too much free time, and a lack of commitment. How could a single female be tricked into thinking he may have been prince charming just a few short weeks ago?

We went on a handful of dates. I invited him over. He met my dog. He invited me to meet his family. He brought me flowers. He helped me fix a few things at the house. We went out on another date. He got drunk. He said some really hurtful things. He bought me flowers. He didn’t come over when he said he would. He went to happy hour with the guys and got too drunk to come over. He cooked me a nice dinner. He sent a text that said, ‘I miss you’. He got drunk and said hurtful things. He got up and walked out after being confronted about the hurtful things he said while he was drunk. He sent a text saying he doesn’t remember any of the hurtful things he said after he had too many shots.

It’s a pattern of mixed signals and it’s completely and entirely hard as hell to figure out. There are times when his signal is very clear. Other times, I’ve been left scratching my head in bewilderment. What gives? Is this his personality showing through? Is there an actual message he’s trying to deliver with this behavior? I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know. I just know that it’s confusing and I should turn away and run as fast as I can.

He’s a charmer 75% of the time; the other 25% is spent arguing with me about silly things revolving around drinking, smoking, and sex. Does this sound like a toxic relationship or what? The only thing keeping me from heading from the hills is the fact that when he’s not boozing, he’s a total charmer. He’s a never-married, mostly seasonally-employed Ocean City guy in his mid-30’s that rooms with another guy in a nice house and has a vehicle of his own. Pretty good for Ocean City, right? Maybe not.

His inconsistent behavior, on-and-off mood, and mixed signals are symptoms of unwanted dating behavior:

  • He’s not emotionally invested in a relationship
  • He has no idea what he wants
  • He’s stringing me along until either he messes up or he finds someone he thinks is better
  • He can’t control his bad habits

When dating someone, a girl wants a partner who will consistently call, text, and make an effort to see her. No woman wants to put up with nonsense thinking and a spiral of bad habits. I’d like a man who is interested in some of the same hobbies I enjoy or at least shares some interest in learning about them. I want a man who will be supportive of my decisions and will listen to my thoughts.

I am not the kind of woman who will simply put my life and happiness on hold because of a man who is sending mixed signals, has no idea what he wants, and has bad habits that follow him around like a black cloud.

What’s a girl to do with a man who’s a sweetheart one minute and a total jerk the next? Give a lady a break. Mixed signals won’t keep her around for long. A woman should be able to kindly tell a man exactly what she wants and that man should be able to nicely tell her what he expects out of their relationship. Instead of just sending mixed signals, just focus on having good communication. Being open and free about everything will end all games and misconstrued thoughts along the way. Don’t guess about his behavior anymore. If things don’t work out, just run and leave him behind to confuse another girl somewhere down the line.

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