Sometimes in life we get so centered on the things we want that we get out of focus. Maybe it’s a certain outcome we want or a person to act a certain way or even some desire that just can’t quite be figured out. When these things just don’t seem to be happening that we want so badly, it can start to make us crazy with worry.
Yes, disappointment in your life or in others leads to unnecessary stress and anxiety. If you constantly obsess about something that may or may never happen, you are robbing yourself the joy of being in the moment. I for one have been guilty of being overly ambitious sometimes. It not only makes me want to be in a different place than where I am but it keeps me from sleeping. Endless nights of terrible sleeping lead to more problems like an over-stressed body and brain fog from lack of sleep. The body has the amazing ability to act the way your brain makes it feel. Such as when you have a peace of mind you have a peaceful sleep.
There are times when you are going to have to be your own cheerleader. When things start to spiral out of control just remember your mind controls your body. Stop the mind from over thinking and put yourself on pause. Do not rewind and keep replaying your thoughts!
Mindfulness or minding your matters in a constructive way is work. I suggest first being aware of when you are doing this to yourself. Are you clenching your jaw? Do your shoulders feel like they are up to your ears? Do you have trouble sleeping? Have you stopped breathing? When you hold on to negative emotions your body is not happy. You can cause headaches, irritable bowel, create stress hormones that make you gain weight, age yourself and the list goes on. So ask yourself is any of this worth it?
We have to learn to let go. Of course, this is easier said than done. Anger, anxiety, unhealthy emotional attachment and even superficial attachment can leave you feeling unfulfilled. You don’t want to be walking around like a miserable zombie so you have to try what works for you.
These are my ways of re-balancing myself if I get to that funky place. I’m no psychologist but maybe my common sense way can help you too.
Breathe: If you have to remind yourself to do this you know stress already has its grip on you. Close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths. Take deep breaths to your belly and hold; then exhale. If you do this right it almost gives you a head rush. Try it! It’s cheaper than whining in your wine and you feel better instantly.
If you are sitting down keep your eyes closed and visualize a calming light in your body. Start at your feet and visualize the light working itself throughout the rest of your body. Feel it as it relaxes every muscle along the way. When you get to your head visualize that problem gone. Give it away and see the result you want to happen. Be specific! How would you feel? See yourself smiling with joy at the outcome you desire. When you set positive intentions it is more likely to happen. Put it out there!
Okay, not everyone is good at talking herself out of a stressful situation. So maybe you treat yourself to something that calms you down. Get a massage, eat a meal that you love, call a friend that makes you laugh, take a hot bath or go work out. And if none of that works, go see a therapist. Sometimes an outside perspective other than a friend can be helpful.
Be grateful! Make a mental note of all that you have to be thankful for. Maybe even write it down so you can just pull it out and remind yourself when you get in an ungrateful funk. I have a visual that I use. It happened in Africa many years ago while visiting a tribe. There was a little girl there in a red dress with the craziest hair. She was adorable and poor beyond belief. I played with her; she made her own toys out of anything she could find and then she showed me where she slept on the bare ground in a hut. This little girl hugged me when I left and had the most beautiful smile you have ever seen…she was truly grateful for what little she had. What a reminder! I will always remember her. That day I knew she would always be my role model if I ever forgot and still to this day I sometimes need to stop and remind myself. I have so much to be thankful for!
