I’d first like to wish each and every one of you a very happy, safe, healthy and prosperous new year. I welcome 2013 with open arms. My new year’s resolution was going to be to stop procrastinating, but I’ve decided to put that off for awhile which is ironic, since I’m writing this well past my deadline. This week I’ll do a wrap up of some of the events from 2012. I’ll cover global events, weather anomalies, my personal life, and even this silly column that for reasons still unbeknownst to me, I’m permitted to write for you on a weekly basis.
As we bid farewell to the year 2012, I find myself mentally reviewing it with a myriad of thoughts and emotions. Events occurred this past year that left me with feelings ranging from sheer elation to utter devastation. It was a year full of peaks and valleys with few, if any, plateaus. 2012 was laden with pinnacles and nadirs, and seemingly never a middle of the road or even keel. To say that the year was an emotional rollercoaster would be a tragically gross understatement.
We, (myself included) collectively learned a lot just from reading Shorebilly’s Swill. It’s become the perfect medium for me to release my inner psychosis, and a great release for me in many ways. So here’s a quick review of a year’s worth of Swill. We learned a lot about the antics of a group of 18-year-old misfits from the summer of 1988; this left us wondering how none of them wound up in a straight jacket. There are still tons of stories from that summer yet to be told, so I’m sure we’ll revisit that in 2013. We picked up some words of wisdom and humorous quips spoken by senior citizens in bars.
We learned some cool things to do in an elevator when you’re bored and want to mess with people. There were 10 things I wish I hadn’t said, and 10 jobs to be omitted from my resume. We learned creative ways to deal with belligerent drunks and how to properly behave in a bar. There were even a few fashion tips along the way. We learned that the last remaining “cool” bone in my body had been removed like the rib of Adam to create another being who has an embarrassing fondness for his own minivan and an obsession with gluttonous pork barbeque festivals. We learned that not everyone gets me, and my sense of humor and that’s probably healthy for rational thinkers everywhere.
We learned that while the sole purpose of my existence is to raise my children, I sometimes employ less than conventional methods in doing so. We learned that common sense is anything but common and that stupidity is reaching epidemic proportions as we hurdle headlong into a world of smart phones and dumb people. We learned some words and phrases that can instantaneously make a bartender hate you. We learned about life, death, shingles and perspective. We learned that even a cynical ass like me can sometimes find glimmers of hope for the human race.
We took away a few life lessons. We learned the telltale signs that summer is here and also the signs that summer is ending. We learned of the ever growing subcultures of people who plan their vacations around strangers with similar vehicles and how louder isn’t always better. We celebrated births, birthdays, and anniversaries. Both Syd, and one of his daughters turned one this year. We learned of a super nice lady from Pittsburgh who, through some impressive sleuthing, tracked down and met Syd. (Which happened to be that awkward moment when I first discovered I had a genuine fan who didn’t share my bloodline or that of my children in any way.) Speaking of fans, we learned that some of my biggest are my in-laws (though I don’t know how they can still look me in the face after reading some this stuff), and that my wife still doesn’t read my column.
We learned of some of the many milestones my kids have reached and why some hygienic practices have been altered in my home. (That piece by the way did in fact alter the ability of many people to look me in the face). On that note, we learned that sometimes graphic, mental images are not necessarily a good thing. I may be single handedly responsible for a massive decline in the sale of artificial Easter grass based upon one of those mental images. We learned some “Sydisms”, and some of the ponderings that run rampant in the gaping, warped abyss that is my mind. We learned that parenthood is the ultimate example of on the job training. We learned what happens when a toddler takes possession of your communication device without your knowledge. I personally learned just how far I reach with my obscure references, many of which make sense only to me evidently.
You may or may not have noticed, but I somehow managed to reference Willy Wonka in at least four different columns this year. I think I’ll need some indepth therapy to figure out the significance of that. We learned that the “apples” that are my children did not fall far from the tree. We got a few lessons in manners and human decency. I learned my threshold to pain, and that shingles freakin’ sucks! I took some positives away from that fun little experience though. I now consider myself to be an overachiever since I developed an ailment that I was 8 years too young to qualify for the vaccination.
We learned about some holiday rituals and memories, and that even those who dwell at the North Pole are not inure to the same problems and hardships we face every day. We learned that Syd may well be our next president. But most of all, I think the underlying theme that we all took away from the lessons from Shorebilly’s Swill this year is a mass, practically unanimous questioning of my sanity. I hope you’ve all enjoyed the column so far. I’ll do my best to make you laugh, cry, and shake your head in disgust a few times in 2013.
This was a unique year in so many ways. I won’t delve too much into global and news events, because that’s just not my thing. It was a fun year to be a sports fan living in Maryland. The Orioles, Nationals, Ravens, and Redskins all made the post season in their respective sports. Yes, the Orioles, Nationals, Ravens and Redskins all made the post season. I had to write it twice since those words have never been uttered before, and probably never will again.
Mother Nature sent us a few reminders this year that not only is she the boss and not to be trifled with, but that she is seemingly menopausal and more than likely hitting the pipe. But thank you, madam, for sparing us.
Personally, this year was a rapidly swinging pendulum of emotions for my family. Some of this I’ve written about, some I’ve not. I should have known when I spent January first in the hospital with a back condition and the first two weeks of the year practically incapacitated, that it was going to be an interesting year. But being the consummate optimist, I didn’t pick up on the signs. For the first time in my life, there were multiple visits to the hospital. Some were for very good reasons, and some were for not so good. I had a record number of funerals to attend this year that I hope is never again matched. Many dear friends, family members, and loved ones sadly moved on in 2012 leaving us with only fond memories of them and a feeling of emptiness. They ranged in age from 37 to 98 with too many stops in between. The gamut ranged from freak accidents to old age that claimed these people dear to me.
But I also discovered some things this year that I’ve found myself really passionate about. I’m learning quickly that I really enjoy writing and hope to get better at it. It is my new pursuit that will hopefully bring an end to 30 years of restaurant work. And with the arrival of the person who will more than likely be the final member of my clan, I’ve rediscovered my love for being a father. Something that I also hope to continue to get better at. Not that I needed a reminder of how great it is to be a dad, but it’s nice to have another reason to love my role.
For all the crap that took place this year, I managed to take away some fond and lasting memories from 2012. I enjoyed my first wedding anniversary with the love of my life, my soul mate, and the beautiful woman I plan to grow old with. I watched a beautiful little angel with my nose smear pink cake icing all over her precious face while enjoying her first birthday. I watched a little girl continuously ‘wow’ me with her intellect and her big heart. She received constant accolades from her school, and repeatedly performed unsolicited acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that I’m not deep enough to even wrap my head around. I watched a boy (also with my nose), morph into a man before my very eyes rendering me exuberant with pride. I saw the O’s end a 15-year streak of making me beat my head against a wall.
But even with all of this, there’s one moment that probably stands out in my mind more than any other from this year. It’s the memory that will eternally provide the headline for 2012. It was just after 2:00 AM on the morning of June 12th. I sat with tear filled eyes holding 8 pounds, 1 ounce of all that is right with the world. I sat silently staring into the chubby cheeked gorgeous face of innocence and hope. I sat pondering my own existence as I stared into the deep blue eyes of the future. A miniature perfect person had wrapped her tiny finger around my index finger and clutched it as if to say thank you.
She sees no color, she knows not of race or religion. She can’t yet count, speak, or walk. She has no hatred, political affiliation, favorite band or favorite sports team. As she struggles to focus on the face staring back at her, she’s simply happy just to be. If I live to be 150 years old, I will never forget the way I felt at that very moment. It was the moment I was reminded of why I was put on this Earth, and how wonderful and precious life is. Though only moments old, there are a few things she seems to instinctively know. She already knows that she is loved deeply, and always will be. And she knows that she is nestled in the safest place in the world; in her Daddy’s arms. She seems to know that no matter what happens in life, no matter what choices she makes, and no matter what path she travels, there will always, ALWAYS, be a place for her in those arms.
It was a good year.
Syd Nicols
